The Force could have been stronger with Rogue One… My Review

Let’s resume Rogue One in a few key words!

  • Uninspired characters and quite messy / boring first half of the movie…
  • Trying too much to please the fans with bits of the SW universe… I have a feeling the ending sequence (who’s just a fan pleaser) was added at the end of the process, with the extra re-shoots!
  • Saving Private Ryan opening scene tribute for 1h at the end of the movie (and where’s Matt Daman when we need him!).

Note: I’m sorry blind Star Wars fans, this review is not for you, since you might not see the irony in this review! 🙂 And this review have no real spoilers!!!

Early in Rogue One, Jyn (Felicity Jones) is kidnapped by the rebel forces, in the hopes that she can help them contact her father. But it’s not quite like a kidnapping. It’s also as if she has been enlisted into the cause. She is joined in her journey by Cassian (Diego Luna), a rebel officer, but he’s tortured or was it bad acting?? Not sure! I didn’t care much about his character or the actor. Sorry It did nothing to me. Everything about their mission is tainted by doubt and moral confusion, just as the rebel hierarchy is disjointed, a bunch of competing factions beaten down by war and ready to give up. Hope wasn’t part too much of their vocabulary at that time…

Jyn and Cassian are accompanied by a funny robot (Alan Tudyk), the Jar-Jar Binks of this movie and by Chirrut (Donnie Yen), a warrior in whom the Force is so strong that he can win gunbattles even though he’s blind. (But then anyone could win a gunfight against the storm troopers, whose brain seems to be very small and elaborate armor seems to be made of white cardboard #Justsaying.)

Well after the first hour who’s quite boring and messy… a side seeing far too many planets with names that sound like obscure keyboard typos, the last hour of Rogue One is like the last hour of Godzilla (Same director), nothing but a battle scene. But it was an exciting battle scene, featuring something like the destruction of the Death Star, but wait… that has already happened (or will happen) in another movie… Hummm… The screenwriters ( I think they were 4 or 5 of them) also came up with something else… Did they ? Oh I should say something bland and undramatic. Without getting too specific, most of the last half of Rogue One involves a “OVER” heroic effort to download and transmit a large computer file. Yes, really… But what a battle… on a beach! We’re just missing Matt Damon as Private Ryan!

But wait… How about the visuals and special effects?

Well, it’s Star Wars after all…but…Rogue One for all its vivid visual imagination, the film left me almost totally cold.. But not “Montreal Winter’ cold… The film indulges in the kind of extravagance that made those prequels so annoying, specifically the way it’s beholden to the source material. WTF! Did they forget to paint the spaceship models? All white and they just look so fake and tiny models. And same thing with the AT-AT… Sorry everything was looking fake! Talking about the bad CGI, I get that you want to recreate links with the actual episodes, but when an actor is no longer alive, PLEASE don’t create a digital version of him… the not so well-done CGI reimagining of Peter Cushing as Tarkin is more than quick cameo. Yep, this is a walking and talking role that does nothing but remind you of the other films again and again. It’s disturbing and not great! And don’t waste your money for 3D… nothing to see, we’re in a galaxy FAR AWAY from The Force Awakens amazing 3D!

Another big downer in Rogue, It’s morally tangled. The characters are as depressed as the scenario, and Michael Giacchino’s music can’t make it better. Felicity Jones will probably become wealthy from this, which is the only happy thought to take from the experience. But Rogue One is strictly  for the type of “Star Wars” fans who hated “Phantom Menace” and yet watched it more than twice.

Well, Rogue One is fast, loud, even could be lovely (especially the final sequence) but is not terribly engaging.
Oh well!!!

Rating: 7,5 / 10